The Biggest Bedtime Routine Mistake (And How It Affects Baby Sleep)

Creating a Bedtime Routine That Supports Sleeping Through the Night

When parents search “my baby won’t sleep”, one piece of advice comes up again and again: establish a bedtime routine. And rightly so, a predictable bedtime routine is one of the most powerful foundations for healthy baby sleep.

But there is one very common mistake parents make when creating a bedtime routine and it’s often the reason babies struggle with night waking.

Why a Bedtime Routine Matters for Baby Sleep

A bedtime routine helps your baby transition from day to night. It creates predictability, safety, and cues the nervous system that sleep is coming.

Adults rely on routines too, brushing teeth, changing clothes, reading, winding down. Without them, sleep feels harder. Babies are no different.

However, simply having a routine isn’t enough. How the routine ends matters most.

The Number One Bedtime Routine Mistake

The biggest mistake parents make is this:

👉 Allowing the baby to fall asleep during the bedtime routine.

This most often happens when babies are:

• Fed to sleep (breast or bottle)

• Rocked to sleep

• Settled into drowsiness before being put down

A typical routine might look like:
Bath → Pyjamas → Book → Feed → Sleep

The issue isn’t the feed itself, it’s when and how sleep begins.

Why Feeding to Sleep Disrupts Night Sleep

When a baby falls asleep while feeding, the feed becomes their sleep association. This means when they naturally wake between sleep cycles (which all babies do), they need the same conditions to fall back asleep.

That’s why babies who are fed to sleep often wake:

• 30–45 minutes after bedtime

• Multiple times overnight

• Unable to resettle without feeding

They aren’t hungry, they are looking for the same help they had at bedtime.

Feeding Before Bed Is Fine — Sleeping During the Feed Is Not

Let’s be clear: feeding before bed is encouraged.

The key is to:

• Keep lights on bright enough

• Keep baby alert and awake

• Avoid heavy blinking, eye closing, or dozing

Think of sleep as a journey. You don’t want the journey to begin during the feed. Drowsiness is the start of that journey and that should happen after the routine, not during it.

How to Break the Feed-to-Sleep Association

If your baby has a strong association between feeding and sleeping, add an extra step after the feed.

For example:
Feed → Sit baby upright → Read a short book → Cuddle → Cot

This helps your baby learn that:

• Feeding is part of the routine

• Feeding is not how sleep happens

Over time, this small change can dramatically improve night sleep.

The Correct Way to End a Bedtime Routine

The goal is for your baby to go into their cot:

• Calm

• Comfortable

• Awake

This is the first step in learning independent sleep skills the ability to fall asleep without external help and resettle overnight.

Independent sleep is how babies learn to sleep through the night.

Why This One Change Matters So Much

If your baby:

• Wakes shortly after bedtime

• Wakes frequently overnight

• Needs feeding or rocking every time

Your bedtime routine likely needs adjusting, even if you’ve “had one since birth”.

This is one of the most impactful changes parents can make for better sleep.

Final Thoughts on Bedtime Routines and Baby Sleep

Bedtime routines are essential, but they must end before sleep begins.

Stopping feeding or rocking to sleep can feel hard at first, but it is often the key that unlocks longer stretches of sleep, fewer night wakings, and a more settled baby overall.

Sleep is a skill, and bedtime is where that skill begins 💛

Book you FREE 15 minute chat here to discuss your baby's sleep challenges